Ending....december....

How lovely is december...
December always go for sooo tired month and LAZY
and soon its going to be end ...
i really dunnoe wat to do...
to start a new year...
to start a new hope...
i m lost again...
no noo...i m going to stop those emo stupid stuff
and place myself in happy mode
2011 come 2010 goes...
and everythg sad goes
memory still be good

LAST
happy be-lated berry christmas...

P.S...will update december post after back melb~

wt

always blame me always call me to think
u dont have to do that also?
always bo cheng yi is u
everythg u wan me to do
how about urself?
do u thk or do u have to do more?
just wait wat i can say
just wait i can do
i wont do anything anymore
u thk u re right all the time
then i always be the wrong 1
pulling myself to say sorry to u
i wont do this anymore
i will never say sorry
i shouldnt care u anymore
i should
can i split bad word out?
wt wt wt

step~

aha~
don't doubt~i capture this~
i love to capture flowers~tiny plus cute
listen to taylor-back to dec~tadatada~
ya,now is dec~so i dont have to back
actually,i dunnoe wat i should do..haha
other than my studies, bali trip, special day...
i m look forward to christmas day,
i dont know why,every years...
i always hope santa come@@
my memory still hold on when i was childhood
the way my mum celebrate christmas with us..
i feel really warmful&joy
this celebration is better than cny
althought cny is main for chinese,
but still,i love christmas~
ya~and i found out
althought my life now have to study and homework..
but i always feel i m moving on..
i love my life now,i dunnoe why
i feel every step of my life is meaningful
i do appreciate,and thank god,
i always have my friends and family...
happiness thing always,
the horrible comes~
i m going to move out soon...
those ppl is disturbing my life,
i love privacy,
i love quiet,
i can be patience
but not always~cheer~
lalala~



P.S. AND last~when i get long hair like angelababy~and my face too,haiz...
my pimple grow><

miss you

i miss you i miss you i miss you
i miss you i miss you i miss you
i miss you i miss you i miss you
i miss you i miss you i miss you
i miss you i miss you i miss you
i miss you i miss you i miss you
i miss you i miss you i miss you
i miss you i miss you i miss you
i miss you i miss you i miss you



yorr,i really miss you lor...
i cant wait to see u,bite yr hand...
hold your hand,bla bla
hug u....yor...
pek chek le la...
i hope...
we always have a good day
><
i hope...
we always been together no matter how
i hope...
u re always mine!

小傷口

过去的，只是小伤口
不管是被伤害
还是伤 了人
都已经过去了
不想回头看
再让自己受伤
不想让人伤害
做好自己

wedding?

OMG~ya,omg~
i wonder why,and i really surprised my frens around me
all getting marry,i feel that i become older and older..><
i m still far away for my plan..
26~wow...really far...
i plan was different><
i know is really late...bt i hope be4 i can take care my husband
or kids i can take good care of myself 1st
if nt,really pity my kids~stop imagine cute kids face nw><
aiyaya...and i should have a good jobs and salary be4 get marry
without those i feel i m nothing and cant feed them..
and my wedding must be perfect,one life once wor...
sure must la,choosing choosing~
wow...cant imagine a girl marry and give born on 19 years...
maybe i m old...
i really wonder...
i hope my frens really get happiness...
every girl should..><
hope my frens really get a good husband good family
and be a good wife...
perhaps,is nt easy to grow a new family,without your own...
every girls must add oil~

i know i m stupid...
i always be so stupid and blind when i was inlove
i know after yesterday...
i can feel that your love getting less and less
not even 6 or 5
not even more than half...
or even half
maybe i should prepare mind same as you..
i m just scare,
i dont want to lose you,
i dont know why.
i hope we were fine

安静了

是不是我又做错了什么，
开心的，总是那么短暂
还是，是我想太多了？
我不想了，
我放空，我真的好累好累
又这样，过了一天
如果有一天，
就这样好了
过了一天就一天
没意义
我好烦，
心里好多压抑
可是，却不懂怎么做
开始麻木，
失去原本该有的理智
开始讨厌自己
我不想胡事乱想
没有人想。
太多太多的，
想不起。
我的爱，该收回
该还人的，就还
压抑太久
太辛苦，很难受
却不想这样
太多太多的伪装
太多太多的保护层
只会一次次的让自己受伤
一次次的躲在房
一次次的谁不着
世界太多的不可理喻
然而我也一样
那么的烦人
那么的讨人厌
那么的不讨喜
无论多大的努力
让自己开心
笑得在大声
人生还是那么没意义
那么的失败
那么的讨人厌
大哭一场，很多场
并没有让自己好过，
让自己开心
不想这样不想那样
想要这样
并不是像童话里
的圣诞老公公给礼物的简单
没有人能跟着自己脚步走
就这样了

freak

thats y i dont like something is unsure,
its will make me form heaven drop untill underground
i m sure that u wont come,
so,thats y,
promise always doesnt mean wanna do it,
it can be unsure,it can be anythg
so wats the break promise stand for?
then who the hell that create those words?
hermm...seems like i have to go for another plan?
travel?for 19 days?
FUCK ME FUCK ME!!!!
damn shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

God doesnt find a way for me,
i m not mean to blame god
maybe i m the person who need to blame myself
all i hope,
doesnt exist..
the more i try to be strong
i more i cant
my heart like a black hole,
even i,
cant get it..
i always dont get wat i wan,
untill meet someone
i wanna fix my heart up
and lets its stay
but still its end up ntg
maybe is my fault
changing nt enough better?
or i still keep locking myself of of the world
i dont wan to be like that
but i dont know hw
i feel badly,bt other than give up i dunnoe wat should i do
i noe i love u,but tats doesnt enough
everyone seems wan more and more
my heart really stuck and suck
i hate myself for loving someone,
its let me feeling i m going to kill myself
maybe i m nt ok enough
i dunnoe how to move on my love to u
and we end up
cuz i wanna escape

10:

9:

maybe,its true
i can live without u
i m strong enough
and u too

7:started

finally i have started my class...
yea...if nt i will be waiting and doing nothing around here,
doing nothing make me hate that,
i hope i were tired enough not to think something else
hopefully,i will get to use for it...
and,i really do hope everything was fine to us

P.S yeah~got cha~finally i have to bb iphone...
          u can wear with my hello kitty case already.
          but,seriously,quite regret about sign the $69 plan
          seriously no worth at all,argghh stupid me

admit

selfish me~check
missing u~check
homesick~check
loving u~check
confuse~check
moody~check
lost~check
hapiness~check
upset~check
waiting~check
tired~check
insomia~check



check check check,check for everything
i should admit that
i m lucky,because after i found u.
u are right,u are really good enough for me
because you really do love me
no matter how,or what u do,
u do the best to me
we should always stand by each other side
and think wat should we do
i shouldnt moody to u,
tats really so wrong
and always be unfair to u
i should contol everything,
not just for 5th days,
just giving up everything
i m so sorry,
just because of missing u
i really really do so miss u
and wanna hold your hand tight
god will punish me badly for hurting u
hopefully he can punish me with loving u..
thank god,love ya

5:

i know,i just giving some reason not to tell or not to ask.
its make me more tired when i was caring and waiting
its wasnt a problem.
the problem just the way
the way that
between human and human communicate
tats nothing else.
i know i m weird,ya
i m weirdo.
but,i feel so better,
in this way
when i wasnt care or talk about
its really make me so release.
i know,having this kind of feeling
will be not longer,
i get it,
so,i never request so much.
no more homessick,no more miss,
no more try to back home,
all the thing i have to do is
enjoy my studies,enjoy my lifestyle over here
tats it.

4:

speechless is enough for me

3:this life

Coming melbourne the worst thing is
to leave my parents and my hometown
and another one is unstable relationship
i started dunnoe hw to care everything out from here
my times will be less and less...
careness both of us change
i started dunnoe how to maintain anything
and dunnoe,how should i talk
i also started know...
how the times is between us
and i really do started know,
how far is our distance not just a word.
i started forgot how to miss
while i feel my heart broken every single moment
i started change my life
and its really do,its different.
but,this what life should go on

bless me

It was second day i stay at melbourne
i feel so weird,everything around me
maybe i just not use to it,or something else
feel that my life started to change...
everything...is so loss
i started nervous in everything,
cant control everything,
cant use to it..
finally my thgs all settle
just 2 more...
my throat and 2moro orientation,
will be the nervous 1...
i hope my sound back 2moro
cause i have to talk quite alot...
i dun wan to be dump anymore..
really nervous and feel unsafe for 2moro
dont know what should i do><
argh...yorr...haiz
guess that i will lost 2moro...OMG
god,bless me><
hope everything will be fine,and...
finally today be strong...
wont able to get homesick today...
but still a kind of suffering for words
hahaha,hope i will be fine,my family will be fine,fren and everyone will be fine
>
actually is quite nice,
wonder why i never thinking to watch be4...
maybe is too magical...hahaha..XD
god bless bless my voice..wuwuuu...

6659

we are so far and far start from today..
over ocean and ocean..
the more times i leave u...
i the i miss...
yorr...i thought i m strong and brave enough
but i find out,i just need yr shoulder
i cant pretend to be what i wan infront of u
i miss u more than u do...
i really do..
and dear,i wont 4gt yr ring anymore...
love u so much...

somemore,i really miss my parents...
try nt to look back,i m sooo affaid...
if my tears really come out
what should i do...
i miss u both mama and papa
soo soo much...
bt i wan try to be a BIG BIG girl
wont cry infront of u both
finally i did..i will be fine here...
must stay health..
i hope...my sis...
always be good...
when i wasnt there...
everythg try to listen advise...
i love her soo soo much
bro...==dunnoe wat to say...
didt even call me...
kao leng lui nia...
haiz...


frens,
thanks all of u...
soo soo much
really so wonderful to have u all in my life
have our friendship will stay longer...
no matter where we are,
thats why i always hope too...
>
(i know u all are great in this)
but still...i will be worry...
so dun make me,hahaha...
lets our heart to heart..
distance wont be problem to our friendship..
miss u all kao kao...
heart my frens..



i will be fine over here,i will try...
I WILL

listen to this right now

because i have u...

go away nah

i hate this><

when u sick

u even cant do anythg...

wasting my time somemore...

those stupid medicine make me insipid...

every food make me feel nausea

is good to lose my weight

bt then i wanna have nice food be4 i went to melb

my body suddenly hot suddenly cold...

i almost sleep for 24hours already lor...suffering..><

wuwu...my sputum cant out somemore...

how could i go to melb if i always in sickness...

god!!help me><

and again my period come without notice somemore

now really stupid and wanna make me cry..

Question?

i wonder why?
i wonder...why everytime i decide to be with...
the question ,those problem always come out by me
do i...really have alot of problem?
my heart really feel so suffer...
although this few days i tried to comfort
my heart so sour,i really lack of confidence
to facing u.i m not in very good condition.
what can i do?
how should i?
i really so confuse everythg inside my head
it pissed me
someone solve for me

PERFECT

To be or non be,is not anything can be handle in us
'perfect' which mean different definition with anyone
but its always mean alot to me...
before,i had been try so hard
but,nows i found out
no matter how hard
everyone couldnt be perfect
they just wanna get more and more...
so,is not longer to be perfect
perfect just a word..
if u ever find out i m nt enough perfect as what u though
i m so sorry about to make a mistaken
cause now,i wanna be some the only perfect
who the one really care me,
no matter when we were friend or lover
so,this words getting rub away from my mind
wrote this when listen to perfect-by simple plan

Maze in sartorini chapter 2

o~yeap...dun get lost in maze when u was in sartorini

yeap~check out my pic

look at the sky

feel so post card~hahaha(i mean this few pic)

sooo...(antsssscoming)

thats my mum^^

my face so sour

i cant even open my eyes

3 of them><

what a cute little girl

i m learning>

again~so cute

heart this

shhhh,watch your step

have a break at johnnie cafe