The reason why i m posting in fb or twitter with those
"emo emo" stuff,
and asking what's wrong with my relationship.
i have to explain that.
Yes, i m actually in emo,
and i never think this will be happen to me after 1 year pass,
many thing you expect was different,
i really through we are in stable like everyone see,
but in my deeper heart, everything doesn't looks like that.
I was happiness in some moment, but do i really?
or maybe i just expect so much, or maybe you don't even really put effort?
i started thinks, yes...other than food, living life style, i know nothing on you
and i wonder why having feeling such as i don't really know much on you.
And yes, i cry some nights, that people wouldn't actually care and notice
my heart wasn't ok and personal in bad condition.
Yes, i do sad. Yes, i do mad, Yes, i do care, Yes, it disappointed me, yes, it's hurt me badly.
I suffer in pain and i struggle,
and my heart tell me to change,
change into a different personality that i should
try to look forward and happy without rely on anyone
but try to loves myself more than everyone that had did to me
try to protect avoid from hurt and wound without pulling and forcing
and i did, i did it.
I loves but without caring,
i m not sure m i making a good decision or not,
but i have to in love with myself,
be like a man, protecting myself.
I felt gladful that lord makes me look on everything clear and in actual way.
Everything is different and changes
and i would say i m alright to be alone without you,
and it was pain in ass that you actually don't need me.
I wasn't feel i m stupid,
just blind in love for my whole life
maybe i should say i m just tired to be in betray.
Just tired and suffering,
and why i have to do this and why i have to face this,
but lord makes it with their reason.
And yes, i should have my own life and be happy.
This is my life,
every chance is on my hand.
And i believe lord allow me to do that.
something people change,
they try to avoid, but everything doesn't goes smooth
Don't blame, accept it, cause it's already happen
although everyone hoping time could go back but it doesn't go back.
so what to do is accepting the truth.
The reason i loves you had gone,
but still, i loves you,
but everything is different,
the feeling had changed.
And now should avoid giving and taking.
But be thankful and appreciate.
I know you had been reading,
doesnt makes you to feel sorry,
no ones should feel sorry about anything changes.
i shouldn't rely on you and have my own life,
thanks god, i m alive.
